About Time

So a lot has happened since I last wrote, I have been wanting to sit down and write but have found myself busy with work. Those of you that know me know that when I say I am busy with work, things aren't ideal with the station. I am the power plant mechanic, you don't want me to busy. So if I have been away or if you have felt unloved it is nothing personal, I am alive and well I just happen to have a job that requires me to put it before all else when I am needed.


Mid-Winter
To me I did not think Mid-Winter Day was going to be a mile stone for me, I have been on the Ice since early Sept of last year and in total I am on my 20th out of 22 months in Antarctica. So a mid way point of this season was not a big deal to me. I have been mid way done for a long time already, for this is what I thought. The station came together and we found ourselves celebrating the night away without a care in the world. I think that maybe because others around me had hit a mile stone of the season it made me feel as if I had as well. For that one night the station almost felt like a community instead of a bunch of strangers living together. It did not last longer than that night, but at least we had that night. So Mid-Winter is the celebration of the winter solstice, the darkest day of the year. From that day it will slowly get lighter and lighter until the sun rises again in about a month or so. It was strange all though we haven't seen a glow on the horizon in quite a few weeks, the very next week after Mid-Winter I saw the first faint glow on the horizon from the sun. It was great, I was on my way up the hill for lunch and normally all I see is stars the moon and whatever the moon lights up, but not that day. The station sits in a cove surrounded by hills, and on that day with the moon at my back the hill in front of me was lit up from behind. I knew right then that it was the sun, I knew right then that time was coming to a close. The reality that this season is over in less than 2 months and a new season with new people will be here in less than 2 months has begun to set in. As difficult as this season has been for me both mentally and physically, I am not sure I am ready for it to be over. I have not conquered the obstacles I set out, I will be busy to complete these obstacles in the next few weeks as I try and get as much out of this winter as I can before it is gone. I almost feel as if I pissed away the winter, I didn't take advantage of what it had to offer, I look back and realize that there was nothing helping me along though, there was nothing screaming for me to take advantage of it. I have seen alot of great things this winter and I have done a lot of great things and I have found a part of me I never knew existed. So I have made a lot out of this winter, but for some reason I am left with the feeling of wanting more, I wanted more out of the winter. I don't know what more I could of gotten, but I will continue to look for the next few weeks and hopefully I can find it.


South Pole
So something else has began to set in as the sky begins to get brighter and brighter each day at lunch. I have began to realize that I am leaving this place, I am leaving Pole. Technically I left Pole in February but, I have spent the last 2 summer seasons there. Pole is the only station in Antarctica that feels like home when I am there. The engines down in the power plant there I feel a connection to. I feel an ownership over them, so I take care of them and that plant as if they were my own property or my own children. Here at McMurdo and at Palmer I never felt that connection, it feels like I am cheating like I am babysitting someone elses kids. So I have signed a contract for my next job, it is not in Antarctica, it is not Pole, it is probably the closest thing you can get to opposite of Antarctica. I am extremely excited about this and I am looking forward to going but that too has had a role in knowing that I will not return to Pole for this summer, I feel like I am leaving home for the first time again. All the factors, me signing a new contract, the sun returning bringing with it the end of winter, all my close friends from South Pole that are PQ-ing and getting ready to re-deploy to Pole for this season. All those factors make me realize that I am not going back to Pole and I am a bit sad, I never thought I would be because I have multiple frustrations with the program and the fact that I have been here for almost 2 years straight. But for some reason I am going to miss South Pole and miss all the great people and friends that work there.


This Winter
So this winter has allowed me to see some of the most amazing, brilliant and totally unexplainable sunsets and sunrises. I have seen a sky speckled with more stars than I have ever seen in my life. I have been in and experienced record breaking storms for Antarctica. I have never before experienced wind that blows as hard and as fast as down here, I have never before been in a storm where I can barely see my hands in front of my face because there is so much snow blowing around me. I got to see the moon lit up as bright red, orange and yellow almost as if it was the sun. I never knew the moon could be any other color but white or faint yellow. When you see the moon set behind Black Island a blood red sphere in the sky, it makes you realize there probably isn't anywhere else on the planet where you can experience that, and I got to see it. The last few days that faint glow I described as the back light of the hills has been a solid crimson red color. Yesterday was breath taking, I had to just stand there and stare for awhile even though the wind was howling and it was -54F windchill. It was amazing because the sky was overcast and cloudy and you could see the clouds for the first time in months. The clouds were lit up with the faint crimson color that was back lighting the hills. It was almost as if the sky was bleeding, I don't think I am going to be able to describe it fully because there aren't many words that could explain it. Normally you cant see the clouds, it is so dark here that the only way you know it is cloudy is if you cant see the stars. So this brings me to my final amazing Antarctic beauty the Auroras (Southern Lights) that is right...... I still haven't seen any :( being able to see Auroras was the major reason I decided to winter and I have yet to see them. One day last week in the middle of the day I guess the Auroras were the brightest they have been all season and they cut across the sky and straight through the middle of the moon, would of been a great picture, hell it would have been amazing just to see that in person. I was working, I did not get to see it. So with the sun coming back and the winter coming to a close, my chances to see Auroras goes down every day, maybe one day I might get lucky and get the chance to see them (side note: I have gone out several nights, even in some of the worst weather so I could catch a glimpse but still haven't, so I have tried)